Excuse me, what do you do?

How often have you been asked the most natural of questions from the person sitting next to you. “What do you do?”  Some of us take offence – you mean you don’t know who I am?  Others pause – I have done so much, wear so many hats, where do I begin?  For whatever reason, the best and most accurate description of what we do often escapes us at these crucial moments when we network.  We end up relying on the easiest way out, presenting the tired name-card, thinking the title or titles there will do the talking just fine.
In the corporate world of who’s who, many of us rely on our marketing departments to brand us.  We have confidence that our PR machines are well-oiled, our resumes tip top, our websites updated.  So anyone who is interested in us should know who we are right?  Not really.

All that constitutes your “image” out there are just that, your “press release”.  And really, how much of these can we take at face value these days?  Too often we forget the importance of face-to-face meetings.  What a person thinks about you is fluid, it changes based on your daily interactions, how small things surprise and become big things.  Every greeting, meeting, phone call, email, (with not just your peers but also those who have no influence in your work) sends a message of who you are and what you are about.  Why do you think President Obama’s popularity rating is like the graph of a heart attack patient?

Your brand is a living thing.  There is no textbook guide to brand you – we are all different.  But there are some principles you can internalise.  And that’s what so good about self-marketing, you actually watch yourself carefully and correct and change your behavioural pattern.  Self-marketing can actually guide you to become the person you want to be.

Sure exchange name-cards.  But a name-card is just a hard piece of paper.  In social functions, you can exchange cards as many as 20 times.  How do you know yours is not the one in the rubbish bin?  And the truth is, a name-card is not who you really are.  You are often more or less than what is printed on it.  And these days, anyone can put anything on a card.

If  you have done enough in your career that you are proud of, you owe it to yourself to market yourself well.  Like most of you, I think my work should speak for itself.  But I have since learned this is a “I am good” eats “I am better” corporate world.  We hear and read about the rich and famous, like movie stars we love.  How do you know they do not possess black belts in self-marketing?

So, when you are dressed to impress, with wine in one hand and finger-food in the other, you should not leave self-marketing to the balancing act of chance.  You need to take your brand seriously so that what’s said between sips of wine doesn’t smack of self-promotion or under-whelm the curious questioner.

The foundation of self-marketing for me is knowing myself and knowing myself really well.  I encourage friends to be honest with me (not easy but over time I accept even the harshest opinions).  What I do is put that knowledge in a succinct paragraph that speaks of me positively and honestly.  Then I re-write that paragraph in a few different ways – but all putting out the same positive message truthfully, coming directly and effortlessly from deep inside me.  These are the foundations, the pillars that support the ME I want others to know.  I have been surprised.  What I thought was just “doing my job” impressed even surprised people.  So I stop taking myself for granted and start to “own” what I do.

When the question is asked, instead of thinking or trying to find phrases and words to define me, I reach into that reservoir I have prepared.  Pick one and introduce myself matter-of-factly.  Another person listening may ask further questions, and that’s when the other ways of introducing me come in.  Before I know it, I have effectively marketed myself with different turn of phrases and words, all conveying the same message – the me I want people to know, and still have my wits about to enjoy the entertainment, good food and wine being served.

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to describing what we do.  But we should keep it simple (it can be just three or four sentences), enough to stir the curiosity of the listener to actually want to know more.  “I am a lawyer.”  Ok, the conversation moves right along.  “I run a law firm and our focus is on the entertainment industry.”  Freeze.  “Who do you represent?” is likely the comeback.  So lay out just enough tantalizing information and they’ll ask for more.

Even if you are a famous personality, don’t feel insulted.  Famous people are not always recognised in real life.  In fact, when you are humble, you can get reactions that reinforce your brand.  “Oh my god, you are THE lawyer my friend told me to look out for?”  You never know, a life-changing opportunity may come knocking on your designer door.

The one thing NOT to do is lie.  Sooner or later everyone can spot a phony, and when the phony mask falls off, you lose one of your most important pillars to marketing yourself – your credibility.  I have seen this happen to people I know.  They embellished, added asides that I knew didn’t exist.  Truth is not negotiable so don’t hide it.  One way or another, it has a way of showing up.  In this Internet age, all of us can be googled, and with powerful broadband access and mobile devices, we can be searched even while we speak.

A good self-marketer is also not a snob.  It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.  Even if you are a famous personality or a CEO of a big chain, don’t dismiss the mousey-looking, bespectacled person sitting next to you.  You’ll never know, he or she could be working for Warren Buffet.

And finally, the importance of marketing yourself goes back to not only the first principle of really knowing who you are but also not being afraid of who you are.  You want to market yourself because you have already achieved something worthwhile, however “small” that may be in your mind, and you want to share that with others.  While you need to be humble, you also need to be clear what is it you want to share, what is the essence that is characteristically you.  Oprah’s essence is her ability to use her “weaknesses” shared by many women and turn them into strengths.  “So what if we are fat?”  Singapore’s essence is, “Our system works.  Never mind who or what they call it.”  Not everyone will agree with your essence, your “reason-to-be”.  But when you believe in it like you believe the sun will rise again, you will succeed in branding and marketing the true you.  Being real is the strongest empowerment tool.  Because when it comes to your own brand, no one knows it better than you.